Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? Sometimes in order to move forward, you have to go back. In this case, just a few minutes.

Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? I believe they do. And I believe that one life can change many lives... for better, or worse.

Do you ever have those nights when there is so much stuff going through your head that you need to channel it?  I'm having one of those nights...and while I journal alot, I'm also having a need to be heard...I know facebook tends to be the way people people are expressing themself more than xanga these days, but everyone and their mom is on facebook now.  Xanga is more for me....kind of an online journal...with a smaller audience. 

God is such an awesome guy...I mean seriously.  He loves us so much and cares for us so deeply.  The fact that he is able to be so intimate with all of creation really blows my mind sometimes.  That he is able to be intimate with me, blows my mind.  I'd really been struggleing with some stuff today.  For the first time in awhile I felt alone....I felt like people didn't really understand me at all....I felt like all the time and energy that I had invested in people was for nothing....and then something made me decide it was time to empty my inbox and I came across an e-mail my high school boyfriend wrote me four years ago.  He wrote it a year after we had broke up.  He's married now and very happy, we parted as friends but God really used it to remind me that he has a plan.  That I did make an impact on at least one person in my life...and he will continue to use me to impact others.  I shared this with a friend and she was encouraged by it so I'm posting it here, hopeing it will encourage some passerby as well as me in the future. 

Hey, i just got done running. On this 6 mile run I was thinking about that time you said chocolate make your face breakout. Well i was watching that myth show on mtv and they proved that to be a myth. I just thought you should know so the next time you get a chance to eat chocolate you can, knowing it'll only make you fatter. Maybe i did help you, but i don't feel that way. what i did was wrong and i'm sorry for it. I thought you'd never speak to me again. I think our relationship has taught us both a lot about ourselves and we have grown much better and more mature from it. You know most guys regret what they had with a girl after it's over, but i like to think that i wouldn't have given up what we had for anything. You were my first real girlfriend and it was an experience i'll never forget. (good or bad) just kidding lol. I had a lot of fun with you too. By the way I wanted to thank you for still being one of my best friends. Seemed like everytime i needed to talk to somebody you were there. You're an awesome girl and one day your going to find the guy that not only sees that but can appreciate everything that you bring to a relationship. Your one in a million I hope you know that.

"13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit." 1 Peter 3:13-18

So I haven't posted on here since Christmas....sorry Xanga.....I have found another.....oh wonderful Facebook..... however, alot has changed in my life since then.  God has pretty much rocked my face off these past couple months.  Me and Anthony broke up, I graduated from college, I got this amazing job in Little Rock working as a Media Representative for Equity Broadcasting.  Had an awesome summer in Conway living with the very beautiful, and talented Ms. LA Nickleson.  Made some pretty fantastic friendships there, and was able to re-establish pre-existing ones.  Now I'm living in a beautiful new house in Jacksonville.

It just seriously blows me away how much life can change in just a matter of months.  I mean I am a completly different person from who I was before Super Summer.  God didn't just break me....he took a sledge hammer to my life and looking back I am so THANKFUL! For only he knew how to put all the pieces back together, to bring me to where I am know, and has used me in some pretty incredible ways.

So while I'm posting this little note on Xanga....I'm really putting it here for me more than anyone.  To remind myself that my life is not my own.  And to think twice before I try to take control over my own situations again.  For I was bought with a price.....a life for a life.....and I'm so glad I was.